Thursday, August 01, 2013

Ruminations on Two Timing.

I just had a major paradigm shift over the past few months.  Women cheat in relationships. They lie, and they break hearts too.

In the past two months, I've come across four separate stories of women who were married/about to get married/in a committed relationship who thought their ex was still fair game, and then played out a Karan Johar melodrama that involved a love triangle, and a wedding that was about to happen, or a marriage that needed saving.

One of the heartbroken men even wrote a book about his 'experience', and this man could barely write as I found out first hand editing an early edition of his novel. The thousands of spelling and grammatical errors, bizarrely over flowery prose and poorly written out characters made me want to hurl my laptop against the ceiling at several points during the narrative.

But what to do? I had to read it all the way through- It was a compelling tale and I was looking for answers. What drives a normally rational human beings into such depths of stupidity? Who was this girl? Why did she think nothing about two timing a man?

She's the type of girl who bitterly complains about the complexity of her lives, about the rigidity of tradition that gives them no freedom to make choices, and even the need for someplace they can 'escape to', and yet are content to live in that limbo of two timing and cheating. She convinces everyone she's a paragon of virtue and lives crippled by the guilt of not being perfect. She's the type of girl who only makes hard decisions about her life when things reach crisis point.

Damn. That was me two years ago. I cheated and lied in a relationship too- on my relationship with myself. And I broke my own heart.

Two years ago, I too thought nothing about existing in a limbo and doing nothing to change my situation but complain. This blog bears testament to that. I too thought nothing of hiding my true self from people for some form of acceptance, from men, peers and employers. I had to be a paragon at everything I did and when I couldn't I just tried to 'escape'- even if it was into my own mind.

When my crisis point finally came around, the pain finally convinced me that existing in a limbo waiting for life to happen is not a good way to live. And the truth did set me free. My life is so much better for it.

Which begs the question- would I have cheated on a man if I was presented a chance to? I will never know, but there's a part of me that thinks I would never have been able to. Those lies you see- they'd never have sat well with me.


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