Have you ever felt backed into a corner? I have and its not a pleasant feeling. And I feel this every single time some random guy's family starts to put pressure on mine to get me to marry their precious son. In all the cases I've been forced to deal with so far- these chaps really aren't worth it (the latest one has a construction job for fuck's sake), and even my family knows it. So I can't understand why my parents persist on choosing these men over my interests. Their refrains has always been "What will their family think?".
On one hand they keep insisting they're not forcing me, but then they proceed to lay on the emotional blackmail and guilt card, they refuse to listen to my reasons dismissing them as flaky and stupid, and by their actions they dismiss me as something completely insignificant, while valuing a complete stranger just because he is a goddamned man.
There's an old song with the lines, "Agla Janam Mohe Bitiya Na Kijo"-- "Don't allow me to be born a daughter in my next birth". The first time I heard it, my inner feminist scoffed. But now- its an emotion I can get behind. Despite having strong women in the family- my own parents seem to treat me no better than chattel.
I've never felt more helpless. It just hurts so much that to be constantly called stupid, selfish and not a 'prize catch' and it gets harder and harder to keep a flippant face amidst all this drama. At the end of the day, I sink deeper and deeper into a pit trying to keep my parents happy and my head glued together because there is no way I can win. Short of walking out with my bags, I don't know what to do.
Ok so maybe I do know what to do and it involves moving far away. And believe me it is in the works- as something that needs planning before it actually happens. I just hope in the interim I stay sane.
The spleen ventage helps.