One of my closest friends is getting married in December, in a fairy tale wedding. I am incredibly happy for her of course, a refrain I echoed several times (rather embarrassing for this dyed in the wool cynic) during her 'bachelorette' party over the weekend.
I couldn't help myself. I was that happy for her. :)
How could I feel anything but happy? My dear friend A has always been a romantic. She had a crush on her fiancee back in high school. He apparently followed up with a crush of his own when they were in university (I may be sketchy on the details so forgive me if I got this part wrong).
Their first date was held under the pretext of 'returning a thumbdrive', and since then they've dated faithfully for 5 years. It was not an easy relationship, with army postings, busy careers and real life often intruding, but those two crazy kids made it work before deciding to tie the knot last year.
When we jokingly asked her to list out things about her Fiancee that annoyed her, she thought for a long time before saying, "I really can't think of anything- he's perfect for me".
I tried to come up with a biting witticism for that, but all that came out of my mouth was 'awwww'.
In a time when love feels impossible, and I'm constantly being bombarded with messages of its demise, its definitely refreshing to have friends who are happily in love, and committing to love. It is all the more encouraging to see that they are with the people they've wished and prayed for all along, and not 'substitutes', or 'found on the internet' versions of what they really wanted, since there's always constant pressure and messages that 'time is running out' and the 'need to settle' (whatever that means).
While I, the axiomatic Single am constantly talking about the improbability of 'true love', there's a small part of me that feels hopeful when I view A and her happy ending. Clearly, while the concept eludes me, it does exist! So while my cynical self continues looking for alternatives to would-be fairy tale endings, I do allow a small corner of my heart to hope for similar happiness.
If I've learned anything over the past few months, its that happiness is something I'm personally responsible for. And while these past months have seen my focus shift on loving myself unapologetically and utterly... A and her fiancee have taught me that finding happiness with someone is a lot more than just checking a few boxes off a 'list', even if that list is key.
In fact, observing A and her beloved in action seemed to demonstrate that the entire concept of "Love" is an action, a choice that then leads to an emotion, especially since the both of them moved beyond their initial attraction and chose to see each other seriously, and committed themselves to a long term relationship.
A made me realize that while it is about the woozy feeling, its mostly about their decision to stay together after arguments, its about loosing precious sleep on weekends just so they can spend a precious hour together, and even turning down invitations to go elsewhere just so they can have time together.
And when I see those two, I know deep inside that this is a couple who'll see each other through the ups and downs in their life.
They've taught me that love is commitment.
In closing, I remain hopeful that love is possible for everyone, in all of its various manifestations. And while I don't really subscribe to the "someone for everyone" or "one true soul mate" schtick, I now feel that under the right circumstances, at the right time, with the right person, all kinds of things are possible.
And while I remain skeptical about the entire concept of marriage, and its suitability for me, I could not be more happy for A and the love she found and nurtured. So while she is sitting on the marriage alter, dressed in her beautiful silk saree, holding hands with her beloved and walking the seven steps that would bind them for 7 lifetimes, I will be on the sidelines, probably crying my eyes out, breathing in deep, and exhaling that her long and ardorous courtship is now at an end.
I'll also cheer to celebrate the beginning of her new journey walking beside her beloved.
~deviousDiv
I couldn't help myself. I was that happy for her. :)
How could I feel anything but happy? My dear friend A has always been a romantic. She had a crush on her fiancee back in high school. He apparently followed up with a crush of his own when they were in university (I may be sketchy on the details so forgive me if I got this part wrong).
Their first date was held under the pretext of 'returning a thumbdrive', and since then they've dated faithfully for 5 years. It was not an easy relationship, with army postings, busy careers and real life often intruding, but those two crazy kids made it work before deciding to tie the knot last year.
When we jokingly asked her to list out things about her Fiancee that annoyed her, she thought for a long time before saying, "I really can't think of anything- he's perfect for me".
I tried to come up with a biting witticism for that, but all that came out of my mouth was 'awwww'.
In a time when love feels impossible, and I'm constantly being bombarded with messages of its demise, its definitely refreshing to have friends who are happily in love, and committing to love. It is all the more encouraging to see that they are with the people they've wished and prayed for all along, and not 'substitutes', or 'found on the internet' versions of what they really wanted, since there's always constant pressure and messages that 'time is running out' and the 'need to settle' (whatever that means).
If I've learned anything over the past few months, its that happiness is something I'm personally responsible for. And while these past months have seen my focus shift on loving myself unapologetically and utterly... A and her fiancee have taught me that finding happiness with someone is a lot more than just checking a few boxes off a 'list', even if that list is key.
In fact, observing A and her beloved in action seemed to demonstrate that the entire concept of "Love" is an action, a choice that then leads to an emotion, especially since the both of them moved beyond their initial attraction and chose to see each other seriously, and committed themselves to a long term relationship.
A made me realize that while it is about the woozy feeling, its mostly about their decision to stay together after arguments, its about loosing precious sleep on weekends just so they can spend a precious hour together, and even turning down invitations to go elsewhere just so they can have time together.
And when I see those two, I know deep inside that this is a couple who'll see each other through the ups and downs in their life.
They've taught me that love is commitment.
In closing, I remain hopeful that love is possible for everyone, in all of its various manifestations. And while I don't really subscribe to the "someone for everyone" or "one true soul mate" schtick, I now feel that under the right circumstances, at the right time, with the right person, all kinds of things are possible.
And while I remain skeptical about the entire concept of marriage, and its suitability for me, I could not be more happy for A and the love she found and nurtured. So while she is sitting on the marriage alter, dressed in her beautiful silk saree, holding hands with her beloved and walking the seven steps that would bind them for 7 lifetimes, I will be on the sidelines, probably crying my eyes out, breathing in deep, and exhaling that her long and ardorous courtship is now at an end.
I'll also cheer to celebrate the beginning of her new journey walking beside her beloved.
~deviousDiv
2 comments:
<3<3<3<3 Thanks so much. I can't believe we've inspired you! But yes, have faith in love :) it does exist!
@Archana-- My wedding present? ;) But seriously you and S give us dyed in the wool cynics hope.
~dDiv
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